rhydonmyhardon:

you are my laptop

my only laptop

you make me happy

when the skies are grey

you’ll never know dear

how much i love you

so please dont take

the charger 

away

(Source: rhydonmyhardon)

Okay, Bud, Fritz and Joe are brothers. Fritz is married to Petunia, and is she…  Cranky? Yes. Tallulah and Lazslo are their children, Joe is married to Billie, Lefty is the butler, Spike and Dimitri are twins and I don’t know who they’re related to. Neither do we. Go on. Bud is married to Lucille and Cornelius is their son. What does Cornelius look like? Tom Selleck. Okay, Cornelius is married to Franny and her brothers are Gaston and Art. You’re forgetting something. Forgetting… Oh, right. Wilbur is the son of Franny and Cornelius.

(Source: ellegrenaway)

fozmeadows:

scienceofsarcasm:

Evening Post: August 12, 1899.
"She immediately alighted, caught hold of the astonished youth, and gave him a sound thrashing, using her fists in a scientific fashion…”

I would love to know what this means.

I think that might be code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”.

thursdayplaid:

clumsyoctopus:

flower language has always been an intense source of disappointment for me

like, they all mean really generic things like “love” or “forever” or “i’m sorry” 

i thought you could combine flowers

like you could just send someone a bouquet and from the combination of hibiscus and posies and tulips they’d understand “the rebel leader is dead, rendezvous at the docks at 8, bring the dog, you will need lighter fluid and  a large tomato”

I really hope no one’s answered this for you yet, I saw this and got so excited that my obscure knowledge base might come into use.  I had to stretch a few flowers so to speak but Victorian flower language allows for alteration in meaning depending on colour, fruit, flower, bud, steam, leaves and thorns, so I didn’t feel I was too far out of line.  This message would work best as two bouquets bound together.  First red Nasturtium with no leaves (red denotes a leader, the nasturtium a patriot) mixed with white or red Mask Flowers (rebellion, red if you want to emphasize fighting, white martyrdom) around Cypress (death).  Then Chick weed (rendezvous) and Blue Convolvulus (night) surrounded by eight White Popular Leaves (symbolises the time: eight), Yellow Iris (flame, and a flower that grows by rivers) and Yellow Prarie Dock Flowers (this was closest I could find to docks)and one large Tomato Leaf, all bound in Dogwood Bark.  Dogwood represents deceit, but as far as I could find the bark wasn’t used symbolically, and as you referred to the dog instead of a dog, I thought it was likely the pun should be a dead giveaway.  

So there’s your rebel message!

(Source: cephalodogs)

zombiekunoichi:

elizabitchtaylor:

They look like they’re in a heist movie with Rihanna as the tough-as-nails leader/master thief and Lupita as the genius computer hacker

zombiekunoichi:

elizabitchtaylor:

They look like they’re in a heist movie with Rihanna as the tough-as-nails leader/master thief and Lupita as the genius computer hacker

(Source: fuckyeahrihanna)

samwearsplaid:

becausejensenackless:

I was really hoping for an explanation

gishwes 2012

"Wear cheese and wear it well. You cannot be wearing anything but cheese. You may use any type of cheese you wish. Supermodel it posed next to or on a classic car (a classic car is any car that predates 1980.)"

(Source: bucketofboners)

yinx1:

thefudge:

spiritvs-evropa:

deutschemark:

regencyduchess:

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

(x)

That look on his face.

lol he looks more inconvenienced by his cufflings

CHARLES!!! LHH

deathbedscene:

having siblings is weird bc like one minute u want to strangle them with their own intestines and then later ur singing dramatic duets together